Would you change your style for someone else?

[ChloeFrancoise]

I don't really know why I would want to. And if it's a boyfriend, what if he has terrible taste in women's clothing or at least prefers clothing that has nothing to do with what I enjoy and would feel comfortable wearing?

 

[Crying Diamonds]

William St Girl, it sounds like you've caught yourself a bit of a catch there

Nobody could change my style. Only myself. I sometimes, like recently, get bored of my style and revolutionize it . . But it's always got the me-factor about it.
I'm also pretty stubborn. And contrary. If someone tells me they hate something and I love it, I'll wear it all the more.

 

[TM717]

Its not my style thats' for sure, I known to give whiplashes in the streets! but rather 1 accessory that my gf dislikes... you ready? I know it's silly but watever, here it goes; It's my 2006 World Cup in Germany FRANCE wrist band! Till this day, I refuse and will continue to disacknowledge Italy, winners of the 2006 W.C!

Eventually I know I'll have to lay the wrist band down to rest, possibly in my dying bed jk! But until then, I am a refuser of Italy 2006 (ps: not sure how many crazy footballers are on this site but I salut you all with a classic head-butt)

 

[GasolineRainbow]

I could never transform into an entirely new being, ala My Fair Lady, but I would willingly transform aspects of my style and lifestyle, and have done so in the past. Though years of women's studies have tried to condition me otherwise, I'm not indignant at the idea of being changed by someone I love. No, I welcome it. The biggest challenge for me is not to acquiesce completely to my boyfriend's style and overall preferences. Or at least, what I presume those are, as I typically don't go for overtly bossy guys.

Ideally speaking, hints and suggestions of change ought to be out of encouragement and renewal, not criticism and abandonment of your previous style/lifestyle. If it's bullyish or condescending, I would resist, in principle. But frankly, it can be difficult to distinguish between caring and uncaring treatment when you're in love.

That phenomenon of couples who dress like each other often occurs naturally, so it's unfair to 'blame' it on one partner. Lest we not forget, many people lose their sense of self when they enter relationships, and I find that a lot more worrisome than someone who gives clear indications to their partner about what style (and other stuff) he or she likes.

 

[tigerrouge]

I wouldn't change my style for a romantic relationship, because I'm not their accessory, I'm a fully-formed person with my own life... I can't see myself ever becoming a 'chameleon girlfriend' and matching myself to their tastes, because my own are so strong.

That said, there's a danger that I can get too attached to my own way of dressing, so I know I need to have an open mind and listen to suggestions.

In terms of work, I accept you have to conform to a dress code, so I make the most of wearing whatever the 'uniform' is for that workplace, though I still feel like an imposter when I wear a suit.

 

[fashionista-ta]

^ I don't feel the need to wear a suit very often, but when I do, I make sure that it pleases me. I have a 'suit' that I wore last winter that I put together from separates (though I guess no one can tell but me--people seem to take it for a matched suit). The jacket has retro overtones with 3/4 sleeves, a peplum, and origami bows at the front. It's not my usual, but I quite like it ... I don't feel inauthentic, I just feel that I am putting on a more formal face to the world for a reason.

I have a 'take me as I am' approach to both work and love, I suppose I have a very strong sense of self & would not be at all open to being 'molded,' which luckily no one (no boyfriend, anyway, I suppose parents don't count ) has ever tried to do ...

 

[Milada]

When I did my internship in a Republican office I dressed like a pilgrim. Plain, neutral colors in figure-hiding shapes. God, I looked awful.

In the case of an s.o., I don't mind suggestions, but if he wants me to try something so far from my style, he can get it for me. I like his input and he likes mine. I do think I adjust myself at least a little bit so that we don't clash. I do keep an eye out for things I know he'd like, but I'd never get it if I didn't like it too.

 

[fashionista-ta]

johnwaynebirthplace.org

 

[Melisande]

Hee hee!

Of course, we all know what we like.

But isn't there something so poignant about wearing something one wouldn't otherwise, for the sole purpose of making someone else happy...?

 

[wildcat]

i wouldn't change my style for anyone. fashion and personal style is just too important to me but i might just adapt my style for certain situations.

 

[Danhat Ward]

No. If a guy doesn't like the way I dress then maybe he is not that into me and more interested in molding me into someone I'm not. Of course I'm open to suggestions but in the end I'm the one that has to be comfortable with the clothes I'm wearing (and I like my style).
I don't really like the concept of changing a partner too much so I just want him to accept me the way I am and vice versa.

 

[lottie342]

I change my style day to day - I have a pretty big variety of clothes. But I don't think I would ever buy or wear something because I was told to; I need to want to wear something as opposed to being told to wear something.

Besides, if someone wants you to change your style - they aren't worth being friends with, you want someone who respects you for you, no matter how badly your dress sense might appear to them!

 

[Underage]

Absolutely not. I don't take style as seriously as some people on this board do, but it's one of my passions. I have a lot of fun with it, and I'm not changing my stle for no one.

 

[gius]

My answer would be Yes.

If my friend and I are going out
and he is wearing red
I will of course not wear red. That would look silly

 

[quimby]

Once I tried and it was a disaster for my self-esteem.

Nowadays, I stick to my style, not because it's so great, but because it's the clothes that I feel most comfortable, most me in.

Though I'm not averse to trying out things that the boy might like, it has to be done out a sense of play and fun rather than a sense of obligation or deficiency.

But eventually, we're both happier if he comes around to liking how I dress, and by extension, who I am.

 

[fashionista-ta]

Hee hee!

Of course, we all know what we like.

But isn't there something so poignant about wearing something one wouldn't otherwise, for the sole purpose of making someone else happy...?

I have to say, I honestly do not know Hmmm ... Well, OK, I guess I've worn lingerie I wouldn't have worn otherwise ... but I didn't find it poignant Now I feel I may be missing something ... oh dear ...

Truly, though, no one has ever suggested I wear something different (and I do not count dear old Mom here--I seem to recall her being not a fan of red lipgloss ) ...

 

[Melisande]

Hmmm...done that too...but we don't often find ourselves so poignant!

Same here, my parents are basically the only ones who feel free to suggest different clothing, as I do to them. Being artists, our family feels strongly about colors and design. And I'm usually happy to comply, as I learned early on that my choice of clothing can make their day. Plus they have good taste.

Many people claim that they wouldn't change their style for anyone because they are independent. I can't help thinking, if they are truly independent, it should be no loss to bend a bit knowing it will make others smile, should it? It's just another way to help out in the world...it's so beautiful when the clothing reflects a synergy of who you are and your respect for the other.

That said, if someone tries to MAKE you dress a certain way, that's a different story! Just today, I attended a funeral at a church where women are discouraged from wearing trousers. It was probably immature of me, but the feminist in me popped out and I almost wore trousers purely to annoy them......until I found a dress I preferred.

As lovely as it is to accomodate others' likes, it is much harder to cater to their judgements.

 

[smartvscruffy]

I wouldn't change my style to make someone else happy. Then on the flipside I tend to dress up a lot which results in friends stating they look scruffy and they feel they show me up! I never judge my friends/family style but because it is so important to me how I dress they assume I'm going to judge them. I never comment or say they look scruffy and it never bothers me how people dress around me!

My clothing definitely does alter in taste with different people, i.e. if I'm going out with my family and my dad I do not wear a short short skirt or a sheer top etc. I think it's too strange. If I go out with my boyfriend I dress however I want, he will comment on items he doesn't like if we are shopping and I pick some sort of outfit that isn't sexy (typical of men) but otherwise he never comments badly on something i'm wearing.

Then for work I dress like a scruff! Combats, body warmer, you name it.. even a waterproof coat with fleece! I work with builders and again if I dressed in a skirt/tight shirt they wouldn't comment BUT i do not like the idea of being leered upon.. plus after work i tend to walk my dog across fields so i won't be wearing my favourite attire!

Other than that I haven't been judged or had an opinion pushed upon me with regards to style. Maybe i'm lucky?!

 

[joie]

I'm always open to suggestions from my boyfriend about style but I always like to have the final say. I think if you have a strong sense of self you'll either change because it's no skin off your nose/not that big a deal to you or you won't because it is a big deal or you just don't like the style they've chosen for you. Either way if your partner is worth keeping around they really won't mind at the end of it all. At least for me, style is important but it's not a deal-breaker. I have no issue with someone changing their style for someone if they're happy to do it but sometimes I wonder if by changing your style you are actually changing part of your personality (if your style is important to you or reflects a big part of who you are) and sometimes when you change for someone and you change enough things about yourself to please them then you're no longer the person your partner fell in love with even though you may appear to everyone to look the part.

Years ago when my bf and I first started going out I jokingly asked him not to wear jeans to the opera. I was very young and a bit (ok, very) pretentious. That comment caused a massive fight and we'd only been going out for about a month. He wore jeans that night but he bought a new shirt... and I learned that his style (however stereotypically Aussie-straight-male awful it is) is his own and he's not changing it for anyone... although he is always receptive to new ideas and even takes them on board sometimes. If I had my way he'd be walking around naked all day anyway so I'm of no real help

At work (I'm a lawyer) I have had to change my style somewhat although work have accepted to an extent that I'm not really a stereotypical conservative dresser and never will be unless it is absolutely necessary. Although I got told at university to wear skirts to firm interviews because male partners still didn't like women wearing the pants (literally and figuratively, no doubt) and this was in 2004 - the profession may have advanced in some areas but in others they are still stuck in a time warp.

 

[fashionista-ta]

Hmmm...done that too...but we don't often find ourselves so poignant!

Same here, my parents are basically the only ones who feel free to suggest different clothing, as I do to them. Being artists, our family feels strongly about colors and design. And I'm usually happy to comply, as I learned early on that my choice of clothing can make their day. Plus they have good taste.

Many people claim that they wouldn't change their style for anyone because they are independent. I can't help thinking, if they are truly independent, it should be no loss to bend a bit knowing it will make others smile, should it? It's just another way to help out in the world...it's so beautiful when the clothing reflects a synergy of who you are and your respect for the other.

That said, if someone tries to MAKE you dress a certain way, that's a different story! Just today, I attended a funeral at a church where women are discouraged from wearing trousers. It was probably immature of me, but the feminist in me popped out and I almost wore trousers purely to annoy them......until I found a dress I preferred.

As lovely as it is to accomodate others' likes, it is much harder to cater to their judgements.

Well, as I suspected, I have not had the experience you are talking about I suppose it's because I haven't had anyone in my life with a really strong aesthetic sense. The men in my life have commented on what I wore that they liked ... I remember once I asked about a favorite color & wore it. But they haven't made suggestions. About my appearance that is ... I believe there were suggestions on other topics Oh, once a boyfriend commented that he liked my hair the way I had it before ... which completely annoyed me because he'd never said so

The red lipgloss feedback was definitely all about judgment (tarty) ... and I grew up in an environment where I was told exactly what you're saying ... there was a lot of judgment around women wearing pants, I had to have long hair, and there were brownie points for 'looking feminine' (well, that apparently was natural ). I'm sure all that has shaped my attitude to this ... in fact, I once worked someplace where women had to wear skirts, and I definitely did resent it. That company was so old school I can't begin to tell you ...